Week SEVEN: Trials in Nauvoo/Hope Week

Cast of "Just Plain Anna Amanda"

Hello, loves! This week has definitely been a trying one for many of us. My vocal situation, unfortunately, isn't getting any better. Sister Hatch took some time to sit down with me and listen to my voice. She told me she thinks I may possibly have hemorrhoids on my vocal cords. [I talked to an ENT in our ward today.  In all his years of practice, he has never heard it referred to in this way - vocal hemorrhoids - in fact, he kind of chuckled.  I think what she meant was vocal hemorrhages. Our ENT friend said he kind of likes the term "vocal hemorrhoids", now!] For those of you who have no idea what that means, it is basically bruising on the vocal cords. The reason it hasn't healed is that it hasn't really had time to heal. The bruise is basically just being hit over and over again. Now, if I am not careful, this could turn into something much worse and much more damaging. Luckily right now, nothing seems too serious. I have a scheduled appointment for a doctor to shove a camera down my throat and see what is officially going on. I have been put on hard vocal rest and will be for possibly two weeks. I am still playing my parts, but I will have to do some altering. I am so grateful for the experienced, loving leaders I have.

Anyway, Friday was a really, really tough day for me. A lot of things just flashed before my eyes:  Things like my future (which entirely relies on my vocal cords), my time here in Nauvoo, etc. I was so scared for so many things...things as simple as my happiness. How was I supposed to enjoy anything or do anything I love if I were to damage/lose my vocal cords? Why would Heavenly Father give me a talent to just take it away so early? Why would He send me as a missionary to Nauvoo if I am not even able to fully use something as simple as my voice to testify of His church whether it be through music or just simply speaking? Was I here by mistake? If the things in my patriarchal blessing are true, then I have nothing to worry about.  Or, am I just interpreting them the way I want them to be heard? So many fears to think about. So, I lost it. I was bawling before I even got back to the Cultural Hall for our second show of "Just Plain Anna Amanda" (which in Nauvoo is not long at all (ha, ha). I covered up the tears for as long as I could (because I HATE crying in front of others) and as soon as I made it to the basement, I collapsed. I just sat there and sobbed for 10 minutes pleading with Heavenly Father. I prayed so hard before my loving companion found me. I just sobbed in her arms for a while. More of the other missionaries came over and did the best they could to comfort me. I was so scared and terrified of the possibility of ruining my voice and possibly having to be sent home. Everyone was so understanding and so sweet. I was able to regain myself. Later that day, after talking to the missionary doctor and officially setting up the appointment [with an ENT] I went to The Bistro. [This where the missionaries gather for their daily meal.]  As I was looking at all the pictures of everyone my heart hurt at the thought of possibly being sent home if it was more serious than expected. I have grown to love everyone SO MUCH; they are my family. If I had to be sent home, I don't think I would be able to handle it. Finally, I broke down again after getting home and talking with my companion for all the fears I had. She promised me that everything will be alright. I sat that night and read my patriarchal blessing pleading for something to be a cement reassurance that I would be just fine,that I was just being overdramatic. Sadly, I didn't find anything that comforted me. I have been trying so hard to keep a positive attitude and a smile on my face 24/7.

This week we had the opportunity to receive missionary training from Elder Clark of the Seventy (former President of BYUI). In his lesson, he directed a lot towards having faith in Christ and seeing the future with an "eye of faith". That really helped me to lift up my head. This week has been Hope week, I have learned a lot about hope through this trying time. I know with faith in Christ and learning that nothing is possible without him, if it is his will, I can be healed. It is really hard at times when I have to lip sync on stage. I want so badly to be singing right along with my family of YPMs, but I know Heavenly Father will heal me if I do my part of allowing it to heal. Sometimes, I feel guilty and helpless. I so badly want to be testifying through music and singing, but I am still able to feel the spirit, sometimes even stronger, as I listen to the words being said. Leaders and other YPMs have complimented me a lot on my positive attitude and smiling face. They say they couldn't imagine what I am going through and still being as happy and positive as I am. I know that having the faith I have helps. My testimony will be strengthened so much through this. I know that.

ON TO HAPPIER THINGS!

Red Cast saved a turtle's life this week. We named him Hector and brought him from the middle of the road into the van and drove him to water. He is now our mascot, as well as, the inspiration for our new cheer! "Jayo Jayo Red Cast go! Jayo Jayo HECTOR!!!" (JAYO MEANS TO ADD GAS AND GO.)

Also, another amazing experience happened! Elder Goodwin was literally called to serve a mission by Elder Clark of the Seventy.  Ya, no big deal.... just starting his mission papers today and will be getting his call (Pres. Lusvardi knows what strings to pull), opening it, and then getting endowed all in less than a month! THE CHURCH IS TRUE, LADIES AND GENTS! Wait for that story to end up in the next general conference!

Elder Goodwin also did a Beyonce booty drop in The Bistro and literally SHREDDED his pants open...so, ladies and gents, your newest, almost again missionary elder, coming at you!

Also pageant starts TOMORROW! I AM SO EXCITED AND SCARED TO BE DANCING ON THAT STAGE (which is actually more like dancing on a cliff if you ask me). My shin splints are getting better and I am still alive so that is all that matters!

That is all for now! LOVING NAUVOO SO MUCH! BEST PLACE EVER!!! I still cannot believe I am here. Elder Dickson every day says, "Sister Ashby, we are in Nauvoo..." and then we are slightly sad because we miss IN-N-OUT.

Anyways, LOVE YOU ALL!!! 

Week SIX: Nauvoo and the Great Storm

Hello All! I am alive and well! This week has been a good one! I had four more friends from home come visit! It was so much fun to have them here in Nauvoo!

This photo was sent to us by friends visiting Nauvoo

NAUVOO SINGERS CAST
(E. Peterson, E. Cottom,  E. Tregeagle, E. Baker, E.Needham
Sis. Hammond, Sis. Ashby, Sis. McCurdy, Sis. Bills)
photo credit: Sister Hammond's Mom (who visited Nauvoo this week)

(Sis. Bills, Sis. Hammond, Sis. Ashby, Sis. McCurdy, E. Tregeagle, E. Cottom)

You are probably wondering about this title. This week we had an insane rain and wind storm come out of NOWHERE! It took 5 seconds before it was raining cats and dogs. Needless to say, I got very, very, very WET. We ended up having to chill at the Visitors Center for a while while the storm cleared. There also happened to be a giant youth group cooped up in the building with us. I know everything happens for a reason and many of us were able to have amazing missionary opportunities with the youth.

These photos are not from last week, but from a previous week when Nauvoo was just as wet!

They were on their way to do baptisms for the dead at the temple.

"A raindrop fell in my eyeball!"

Sister Jackson

Sister Smith and Sister McCurdy

Sister Isaacson

Sister Hoagland (companion)

Update with the voice; it is still gone. I am trying my best to do all that I can to get it back. It is really, really frustrating at times, but I know that hopefully, I will get it back soon.

More "fun" health stuff! Friday, after the storm, we had a heat wave slide in here in Nauvoo. Friday night of "Sunset", I wasn't feeling too hot... or should I say I WAS feeling too hot and ended up with heatstroke and almost vomited backstage. I had to miss out on the last number (which wasn't a big deal because all I do is the Hawaiian Hula dance). I was so sad that I also had to miss out on "Trail of Hope", but I know everything happens for a reason. They dropped off Sister Merrill (who is our amazing Sister missionary on the drums) to be my companion, while my actual comp was doing my part on the Trail. Before I was asleep, Sister Merrill and I had a really cool conversation. She had been having [some of] the same [challenges] I had a couple of weeks ago. Talking to her helped her realize that the same thing [was happening] to her and realized answers to the prayers she had been seeking for. The next afternoon at lunch she thanked me for helping her and that she really needed that. Without me getting heatstroke and us being put in that situation, we would have never had time to have that conversation.

"Sunset by the Mississippi"

Thinking about Suzi today and how much I miss her and love her. I still sometimes cannot believe she is gone.  [Today would have been her Aunt Suzi's 35th birthday.  She passed a little over a year ago from complications with the flu...a cancer survivor, twice over, she was a true example of long-suffering and fortitude.]

I hope Dakota is doing well! I love her so much! She is so sweet! [Her little sister, Dakota, had brain surgery the same morning we dropped Sister Ashby off at the airport.  She had some complications after surgery and is still on the mend.] 

Well, I am out of time! Love and miss you all!

A LETTER HOME!!

Snippets from a letter we received on Friday, June 15, 2018

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Everything is going great!  My legs are all healed up (dermatitis), except the shin splints are still bothering me.  They have not been bad, thankfully, just a little painful.  My voice is slowly coming back.  I was discussing with some of the other sister missionaries as to why my voice was still gone after praying so hard.  Sister Bills made a comment how sometimes God just gives us small trials to strengthen us and have trials of faith.  Another sister missionary shared her thoughts as to the reason being for someone else.  One of the elders here has studied in England with choirs and all this vocal stuff.  He has really been helping me.  She made the comment that maybe it was so he could feel like he was contributing more here in Nauvoo.  His feet are a little trial he's been dealing with...multiple surgeries after wearing the wrong shoes on his two-year mission have made it hard for him to dance.  We ALL have been feeling a little down on ourselves lately.  All wondering if we really deserve to be here in Nauvoo.  I can only imagine the doubts and frustration he must be feeling.  So, if maybe having a raspy voice for a little while to lift his spirits is what Heavenly Father needs, I can deal with that.  I know everything is God's will and everything happens for a reason.

I have had other challenges, too, and my companion has given me some fantastic advice, as well as comfort.  I have been "writing it down" which has helped...and praying...A LOT, which has also helped, but the challenges are still there. Luckily, these things are not distracting me from serving with a full heart and purpose by any means, but it can still be hard.

It has been AMAZING here in Nauvoo.  I love it here so much.  My skin is so clear and soft...still getting used the bugs...EW!  A Junebug attacked me during Trail of Hope and it was terrifying.

I do love the unity here.  We keep getting told our 2018 group is unlike any group they have ever had.  Not only do we blend very well together, but we are all so humble, serving the Lord, and here in Nauvoo for the right reasons.  Not one of us is here to be a "performer".  Each of us is a missionary first.  One of the temple missionaries has been here in Nauvoo for a while.  She approached Sister Bullock and said, "I've seen many YPM groups come and go, but there is something so special about this one."  We are so grateful to all be serving here together (especially the ones who have auditioned 2-3 times).  I have such a deep love for them all and for everyone who comes to Nauvoo.  The people and families are all so kind, loving, and darling.  We had a family drive 2 weeks from Alaska to come to Nauvoo. (They, of course, made some stops in between.)

2018 Nauvoo YPMs and Leaders

My testimony of Joseph Smith has been strengthened so much.  It has been an honor to portray these Saints on stage.  They had so much courage and faith.  It amazes and strengthens me daily.

I am so beyond excited for you all to come to Nauvoo!

Our Sunday concert this last Sunday was so amazing.  I definitely bawled my eyes out.  Nauvoo has turned me into a baby.  Ha, ha, ha.

I am, also, a scary dance partner, I have realized.  At the beginning of our time in Nauvoo (when we were learning choreography), I smashed Elder Goodwin's face with the back of my head, stepped on many Elders' toes, and today I elbowed Elder Dickson in the nose.  I guess Karma is real, though, because, during my time here I have also been smacked in the face, twice, by Elders, had my toes crushed by Elders, and had the chained curtain flung into my stomach.  Whoever said performing isn't as injury involved as sports is a LIAR!

Love you so much!!

_______________________________________

Snippets from an email she sent a friend last week:  June 12, 2018

It's been quite entertaining since I have been here.  So far, I have had a trashed voice, shin splints, dermatitis and heatstroke during the outdoor "Sunset" show.  So, I had to go home for the night.  But, after all that, I am still alive and dancing, so all is well!  Our schedule is pretty intense.  We do up to 7 shows a day depending on our rotations.  And, when we are not performing, we are out singing in the town or at Carthage.  The pageants start in 2 weeks and rehearsals for that will be at 7 AM.  It is crazy when we are up at 5 AM and not getting to bed until 11:30 or midnight. But we have been blessed with buckets of energy!!

Week FIVE

Below is Sister Ashby's email this week.  [Included are a few amendments for clarification.]

This week has been good! I uploaded tons of pictures and videos to my Google Drive.  This week we got to perform for Brad Wilcox, so that was cool!

I did the solo for "Grandma's Feather Bed", too, and just had to alter the top belt note a little.  [This is a solo for the musical number in "Sunset by the Mississippi" that she has been waiting to do until her voice heals.]

This week has been quite entertaining! So the wasps seem to be gone but now there is lots of tripping. In the opening scene [of "The Promise"], Sister Smith face planted it on stage and it was the funniest thing EVER. IT WAS SO HARD TO STAY IN CHARACTER! Sister McCurdy has been tripping lots, as well. I haven't had any moments, yet, which is surprising but good! Elder Hernandez fell down the stairs while passing the sacrament and the gluten-free Rice Chex went flying. [We are assuming that it really was funny and that no one got hurt. ;P ] 

It was so great to see Family this week!  [Aunt Heidi, Uncle Mike, and Baby J visited Nauvoo last Wednesday as they were in Chicago for a family wedding.  Heidi was able to see Sister Ashby in most of the performances, visit with her a tiny bit (because they only have 2 minutes before they have to run off to another show), take some pics and video and then report back to her worried Mama that ALL IS WELL.]

Aunt Heidi, Uncle Mike, and Baby J

The Trail of Hope has been amazing! We had almost 700 people on Wednesday and my voice was killing me by the end. [Aunt Heidi was there that evening. She can attest to the numbers. Sister Curtis reported to Heidi the next morning that they had 672 people the night before that came down the Trail of Hope. The YPMs had to do their monologues 27 times to accommodate all the visitors coming through.  They had a couple of youth groups visit Nauvoo this last week for Youth Conference.]

Walking to the Trail of Hope

YPMs singing before Trail of Hope begins.
(Look at that crowd!!)

 It's getting a bit hotter here and the dresses are ovens but they are still fun!

"Sunset By the Mississippi"

Friday morning, I had the opportunity to go sing at Carthage. The morning was very, very wet and we had a fun drive there.  As we got to Carthage, we were able to sing for many of the youth groups in attendance. Afterward, we were talking to one of the senior missionaries and her husband. She proceeded to tell us about the day Joseph [Smith] was martyred. It was in June, a rainy, rainy morning that then turned very humid later that day. That stayed in my thoughts all day as the day became hotter and humid. It is always such a special time there.

Time is flying by so fast! I cannot believe it is already June. I am so excited for you to come to Nauvoo!

LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH AND MISS YOU!

Addendum (by Sister Ashby's mama):

With no intention of singling Sister Ashby out among the amazing young missionaries she serves with, I share this story:

Today, after church, this darling senior couple chased us down the hall and introduced themselves. President and Sister Stoddart.  (We had never personally met before.)  He was just called to serve as the Branch President to one of the two branches in our own stake. They proceeded to tell us that they had just visited Nauvoo this last week with their daughter's family and had met this performing missionary named Sister Ashby.  In visiting with her, they discovered that she, too, was from South Jordan. They tried to discover some SoJo ties, but didn't find any and the time.  They enjoyed talking with her and were very impressed with her.  During the next couple of days, they kept seeing her all over Nauvoo performing with her various casts and she continued to impress upon them even more.  They felt a connection with her.  Later this week, after their return, they were talking to President Harris (who is a counselor in the branch presidency and is from our ward) about their visit to Nauvoo. They mentioned meeting this amazing Sister Ashby who was a young performance missionary there. President Harris then said, "Well, you know she's in our stake, right.  In fact, she is in my ward!"  They could hardly contain themselves.  President and Sister Stoddart, after finding out that our ward block was just ending, ran over to our church building after their meeting was over to hunt us down. They just wanted us to know how impressed they were with Sister Ashby, her talent, and her Spirit.  She had touched them dearly during their short visit to Nauvoo.  They and their extended family had felt her testimony, her light, and her goodness.

These beautiful young performing missionaries serving in Nauvoo all have the ability to touch lives in ways they'll never know.  While they interact with visitors, their testimonies of the gospel shine through and they impress upon people young and old, member and non-member alike, the spirit of that special place.  Impressions that make a difference. Impressions that change people's lives.  Impressions that last! To the amazing group of missionaries who have been called to serve this summer in Nauvoo...Thank you!

A MONTH IN NAUVOO!? What!?!

This week has been a good one.  Let me tell you! The Clements never fail to make the most delicious lunches. Yesterday, my Nauvoo Singers group was as we say #BLESSED! We were passing by Pioneer Pastimes (a little game and activity area near the cultural hall for families) on our way to the "singing tree". We were singing for them on our way and they gave us PIZZA! We then made our way to the "singing tree" where these nice people bought us Joseph Smith Red Brick Store Rootbeer!  Then, on the way back, we got Scovil Bakery Cookies (the old fashioned gingerbread cookies given as part of the tour for the Scovil Bakery in Old Nauvoo).

Nauvoo Singers walk the streets of Nauvoo (called "The Flats")

pulling a wagon with their water in it.  They stop to perform

for visitors along the way, "The Singing Tree"

being one of those spots. (lo res)

That day, I also got asked by an old lady if I had a baby in the wagon I was pulling. I eyed my missionary tag and then back at her really confused.  She asked again if I had a baby. I said, "Nooooo, but I have root-bear and water.  That IS almost as a good as a baby, right?" I WAS SO CONFUSED.

Anyway, I also had the amazing experience of getting to visit Carthage for the first time since being here in Nauvoo. The spirit was just overwhelming there. We stepped into the Carthage jail and walked up the stairs to the very room where I had decided [a couple of years before when visiting my grandparents who were serving a mission in Nauvoo] I was to audition for this mission.  I, of course, already had teary eyes beforehand, but the spirit in that room and also the room where Joseph was killed was overpowering. After the tour, we stepped outside and sang for some families.  We were all in tears after that.

The Trail of Hope has been one of my other favorite experiences. On the first night of Trail of Hope, we had 500 people attend! It isn't fun being under "The Spider Tree"... but the big moon that fills the sky, with breathtaking sunsets by the Mississippi waters, fireflies, and the Nauvoo temple in our view makes up for it.

Walking back after the "Trail of Hope"

To Dad:  Sister Isaacson and Sister Adams LOVE THE BEACHBODY WATER BOTTLES. There are some other sisters who are quite jealous, but the other two say thank you so much.

We also have had an interesting experience with the infestation of wasps in the west theater at the visitors center. "The Promise" was quite entertaining to act through when we had swarms of wasps landing on us and making beds in the fake flowers on our bonnets.

("The Promise" Bonnets)

I had a very spiritual experience this week. For the month I have been here, my sleep schedule has been rough. After a couple days of being here, I would wake up every morning at 2:15 AM.  I was so confused as to why this was happening. I wasn't homesick or anything; I adapt to new places easily and I have never had trouble sleeping before. I tried taking melatonin and everything but nothing was working. After about a week and a half of this, I was mentioning how much sleep I was lacking due to this issue. When one of the sisters (Sister Bills) told me of this really cool talk she heard from some of the general authorities about revelation and different ways Heavenly Father talks to us. She said, "Sister Ashby, it could be Heavenly Father trying to tell you something, giving you revelation for your questions." So, that night, I told myself I would wake up and try to study. Knowing me, of course, I went back to sleep. This went on for another two weeks and then I was waking up at 4:32am every morning. This week, on Thursday night, I laid my scriptures by my bed with a journal and a pen and prayed. I asked Heavenly Father that if He was really trying to tell me something, I was ready to hear it and seek for His answers. That night, I woke up twice, once at 2:15am and the second at 4:32am. Of course, I fell back asleep from the new medication I was on for my legs**. I was becoming frustrated with myself.  Why wasn't I able to just simply stay awake and study? Finally, Friday night, I went through the same process but prayed for strength to be able to wake up and earnestly seek for these answers.  And, if I was really having issues sleeping, then I asked for a blessing to be able to sleep. That morning, I woke up at 2:15am.  I was wide awake and grabbed my Bible and journal and headed for the lounge area outside my bedroom. I prayed for guidance and then began to study.  After 25 minutes, I wasn't finding anything...nothing that applied to what I was going through at all.  I was about ready to give up when I heard the prompting, "Get your Book of Mormon". I shrugged it off thinking, "No, I dont want to wake up my companion," and studied for another 5 minutes before the same prompting came again. "Get your Book of Mormon".  I did.  And after a bit of studying, I was guided to scriptures I needed. It was an amazing experience I will never forget. When sister Bills first told me of this I almost didn't believe it. I thought, "No, that's one of those cool things that only happens to the President of the Church or cool Book of Mormon prophets. But, as I tried to seek the spirit and His guidance, I was blessed.

I am so grateful to be here Nauvoo serving. I have met so many amazing people and have so many new friends. That is all I have for now! Love and miss you all!

**Sister Ashby had been battling a nasty rash on her leg from an allergic reaction to the adhesive spray they were using for her shin splint wraps.  We thought it was only on one leg, but apparently it is now on both legs.  She came off stage after a performance this past week to see her legs turning purple (where the rash is).  She was taken to the local doctor.  She was diagnosed with bad case of Dermatitis and was given Benadryl and a steroid shot.  She was prescribed steroids for the next two weeks and lots of unscented lotion slathered on the legs.  She is on the mend and in very good hands.  All is well. She appreciates all the prayers on her behalf.